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What keeps me up at night....

I've always had sleeping problems off and on. I went thru a really bad period in law school and had to start taking ambien, there nights where I couldn't get my mind to "turn off" until 4 in the morning, that just doesn't work when you have to be awake in three hours and learn the law! I've always been insanely jealous of people who can hit the pillow and be out within minutes (my husband...dang him.) It's actually not that bad right now...every once in a while (Sunday nights are the worst!) my anxiety/brain going in overdrive gets the best of me and I can't fall asleep for a couple of hours. It's got to be one of the worst feelings in the world, when you are absolutely EXHAUSTED and cannot fall asleep.

Lately, this is where my mind wanders:

*Will Collins be a good baby? Will she sleep good? Will she/I be able to breast feed? Will she cry all the time or be a content baby? Will I be a good mom? Will I know what in the WORLD I am doing? Will I be able to get her on a good routine/sleep schedule by the time I go back to work? What will she look like? Who will she take after? My eyes? Mikey's?

*Our next house. Where will we move? When? How long will I be able to stay in our current home? How FAST will we outgrow it?

*Anxiety about dying. I know, I know...it's nuts. But, sometimes I get overwhelmed about the fact that tomorrow could be our last day. It is so frightening.

It's so funny how opposite Mikey and I are on stuff like that. I know I have absolutely NO control over 95% of the things that I worry about/things that keep my mind running all night, but yet I still do worry. I think it's just in my nature. I wouldn't say I am a worry wart by any means, but I do contemplate/think about things a lot that I can't control. Mikey is totally different, he doesn't let anything affect him/worry about anything until he has to...it sort of drives me bonkers sometimes, ha!

Anyways, just a random post about my random thoughts.

We have NO plans for the weekend, do whaaaaat?!? I plan on doing some house cleaning, wrapping some presents, going to look at Christmas lights, watching some movies, and organizing the closet in the nursery. Perfect weekend ahead:)

Comments

  1. Ashley @ The Houston HouseDecember 9, 2011 at 10:37 AM

    Oh my gosh, same here. I used to blame law school for keeping me up at night. And Sunday nights ARE the worst thinking about the upcoming week, UGH!

    ReplyDelete

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