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TORN.


Struggling.  Today was Collins’ first day at daycare.  In most ways, I am TOTALLY okay with this.  *most ways* I’m not really that emotional, so I was fine leaving her…..she was happy, I was happy.  Then, came lunch.  I was going back by there during lunch to bring a few more things and in I walked and she was just lying in her crib crying.  Broke my mama heart.  She just looked so sad and alone. What to do?  They said she had been great all morning, took a nap, etc.  I was telling my mom about it, and she said “they were just letting her lay there by herself,” but what else are they supposed to do?  There are 8 babies in there with two ladies…they obviously can’t hold them all at once.  She wasn’t screaming crying or anything…I’m sure they would have comforted her then, but she was still sad and it made me really sad.  It made my mom sad too, but I know and she knows that she couldn’t keep her forever. 

Today, I’m torn on whether to keep her at a church daycare like she is now, or look for someone in home.  I have opinions on both and I think they both offer pros and cons.  I know when she is older I would much rather her be in a daycare situation for the social interaction/activities/etc. that they do.  But, right now…as a baby it makes me sad.  I want someone to love her and hold her when she needs it like my mama did and we do at home.  I know those ladies love the babies; they just can’t love them ALL, ALL the time.  

The church: two loving ladies, tons of toys/bouncy seats/swings/etc., SAFE (regulated like CRAZY by DHEC) and they don’t leave that room when they are babies.  But, there can be as many as 8 babies with two ladies and they just can’t tend to them all at once.  I just don’t know.  UGH.

Home based: I guess it depends…you can luck out and find someone with mostly older kids and then your baby is the ONLY baby that needs the most attention.  But, then toddlers demand a LOT of attention too.  So, is that really better?  As safe?  I don’t know.  This scares me.  There have been two instances recently in our area of babies/kids dying at in home day cares...they were both accidents.  BUT STILL.  I think it really depends on what ages the person keeps and how many kids there are as to whether I would feel like it would be beneficial to switch. 

I wish there was a perfect situation/magic answer.   I just don’t know what to do. 

Maybe something more cheerful tomorrow….xoxo.


Comments

  1. Aww. Well, although I'm not a mom, I do volunteer at a church daycare in the babies and crawlers room SO let me say this. You are totally right, they probably can't hold all of the babies all at once. Haha. Plus, she is so young she won't even remember the crying. And when she gets older, she'll probably like being around other kids socializing and being able to play her little heart out! So, my vote would be church daycare! :)

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  2. Ohhh Caroline. This post struck such a nerve. I'm facing a similar decision right now. We've been on the waiting list at 5 different places since early February 2012 and won't need care until January of 2013 - still no word from any of the places. This week, I'm starting my search for in home care possibilities. It is so hard to know what is best. I'm right there with you on this.

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  3. We had this same dilemma when our daughter was born. After a bad experience, we ended up hiring a nursing student from USC (CPR certified etc) to work in OUR home. It was wonderful. The baby was at home with her own toys until she was 1. This was a more expensive option, but for us it was awesome! Good luck, you will find the right solution for your sweet one!

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  4. When our daughter turned 1, we put her in a church moms morning out. It was FANTASTIC! My mom kept her in the afternoons, which included a long nap, so it was manageable. When our second daughter was born, another dilemma... Two little ones is $$$. So, after number crunching and some lifestyle changes, we decided I should stay home. It's tight, but wonderful. And we loved moms morning out, both girls go 3 days a week : )

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  5. I hear ya! Had the same issue with Callie. In the end though she became a better baby and was able to sooth herself/keep herself occupied and not needing us constantly. Both have their benefits and whatever you choose she'll do great!

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