On being "done"

Ah…the BIG question.   Actually, when you have three kids so young and close together, i.e. twins… you don’t really get the question “are you done?”…it’s more like… “You are done, right?”  It actually really annoys me… maybe I’m not, what do you care?  Of course, I always just laugh it off.  The first six months of the boys’ life, I would always respond “oh yes, hahaha” in other words, just leave me alone I’m trying to enjoy hanging out with my kids and I don’t need a stranger peppering me with questions about my family’s future.  

 

I just don’t feel “done”….I’m not ready to not have a baby anymore, I’m not okay with G and T being it, I feel too young to be done…so many reasons on why I don’t want to be done.  I know a lot of other mama’s probably go through this too, and I also know that the older my kids get my feelings may change.  But, as of right now I WANT ANOTHER BABY!  GASP!  I said it.  I have three kids and I want another one!  What would the world think?!  Seriously, I don’t think anyone has looked at me like a normal, sane person when I say I want a fourth.  My parents absolutely freak at the idea….two kids is their ideal, three threw them for a loop!  I constantly get “oh, wow…you have your hands full”…what would people say if there were 4?! 

I think because I had two at once, I feel cheated in a way…if that makes any sense.  Mikey and I always thought we wanted three kids, we just didn’t realize we would have two at the same time.  Now, I wouldn’t change that for the WORLD, but… I have no more babies and I wasn’t prepared for that to happen so fast.  I’m not “young”…but I’m certainly not old…but to be done having babies by 30, I feel young and it just feels like I’m too young to be done.  I absolutely love my children, I love being a mama, I love the chaos, I don’t mind the newborn stage one bit, I know having lots of kids can be crazy and hard but I LOVE it.

But…will we actually have a 4^th?  Probably not.  Will I be okay with that?  Who knows, time will tell.  And like I said…a year from now I could completely change my mind and be 100% okay with not having another baby.  Financially, it just seems crazy…dressing three kiddos about breaks the bank, I can’t imagine adding a 4^th!  I want to pay for my kids’ college, cars, weddings, etc….would that be possible adding one more to the mix?  It really doesn’t seem like the smart, realistic thing to do… BUT that doesn’t mean my heart doesn’t yearn for another baby one day.

And how does Mikey feel about all this, you ask?  Ha!  He says:  right now?  Absolutely not.  But, he agreed that in a couple years it could definitely be a possibility.  So, who knows…the chances are we probably won’t have another baby, but it sure would be fun:-)