I need some feedback here. Or, I just need someone to tell me I am not crazy. PRETTY PLEASE, just this once?!? *I know...I can be, but I'm not really crazy, right?
Truth is, I've been struggling with something for a while. It all has to do with my never ending need to plan/dream/think about what's next. Take for example...what my most recent google searches reveal?? HOUSE PLANS. Do WHAT, you say?!? Yeah ,that's right. We haven't even been in our house a year and I'm already dreaming about building. Y'ALL, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME? Does anyone else do this? I remember talking to one of my best friends one day, and she said " I don't make plans like you do." It really hit home. We were discussing her current home and how long she thought she would be there... in my mind it was a no brainer. She couldn't possibly NOT know...I mean 2 kids and done, right? It would be time to move on? *Not the exact scenario, but you get my drift?*
It leaves me questioning myself..."am I never satisfied?"..." am I not happy where I am now?" "is something wrong with me?" OR,....OR is this just a normal trait of someone who is constantly striving to do better, have dreams, something to look forward to? Truth is. I am so, so happy in my life right now. Everything is going great...my marriage, my family, my job, etc. *Sorry not trying to sound like I have a perfect life, just trying to show that I AM happy and don't have a reason to not be satisfied* But, I am constantly thinking about that next step. What I would do differently in our next house, what kind of house I want, etc. Yes, right now all of my thoughts revolve around housing. I LOVE our neighborhood. I like our house. Is it my dream home? NO. Should I have my dream home at the age of 29? Hell no. So, that leaves me with the BIG questions, IS THIS NORMAL THINKING BEHAVIOR or AM I FLAWED?
I am a planner. Always have been. I know ultimately it is all in God's control, but regardless, I like to be prepared. I like to dream. I like to think about what our next big move will be. Is that so wrong? We were taking a walk around the neighborhood the other night and there is ONE remaining lot for sale in our hood, and it comes with a boat slip. I spend time trying to figure out a way to buy that lot NOW. Can we afford it? NOPE. But, that doesn't stop me from trying to figure out a way to make it work. Crazy? Maybe. A dreamer? That's what I prefer.
Here's to hoping the world is full of "planners" like me...so I don't seem so crazy. And yes, I realize there is a whole shit ton (yes, shit ton) more I could discuss on this topic and the fact that someone will probably say I'm not living in the "now" and I need to appreciate all the small moments, blah, blah, blah. But, I do and I am. Every single day. I cherish it all. I soak up all my time as a young mama (well, maybe not so much young...but still an "early" mama). I am living life to the fullest EVERY DAMN DAY. I just like to dream about what's next? Is that so wrong?
xoxo.
Truth is, I've been struggling with something for a while. It all has to do with my never ending need to plan/dream/think about what's next. Take for example...what my most recent google searches reveal?? HOUSE PLANS. Do WHAT, you say?!? Yeah ,that's right. We haven't even been in our house a year and I'm already dreaming about building. Y'ALL, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME? Does anyone else do this? I remember talking to one of my best friends one day, and she said " I don't make plans like you do." It really hit home. We were discussing her current home and how long she thought she would be there... in my mind it was a no brainer. She couldn't possibly NOT know...I mean 2 kids and done, right? It would be time to move on? *Not the exact scenario, but you get my drift?*
It leaves me questioning myself..."am I never satisfied?"..." am I not happy where I am now?" "is something wrong with me?" OR,....OR is this just a normal trait of someone who is constantly striving to do better, have dreams, something to look forward to? Truth is. I am so, so happy in my life right now. Everything is going great...my marriage, my family, my job, etc. *Sorry not trying to sound like I have a perfect life, just trying to show that I AM happy and don't have a reason to not be satisfied* But, I am constantly thinking about that next step. What I would do differently in our next house, what kind of house I want, etc. Yes, right now all of my thoughts revolve around housing. I LOVE our neighborhood. I like our house. Is it my dream home? NO. Should I have my dream home at the age of 29? Hell no. So, that leaves me with the BIG questions, IS THIS NORMAL THINKING BEHAVIOR or AM I FLAWED?
I am a planner. Always have been. I know ultimately it is all in God's control, but regardless, I like to be prepared. I like to dream. I like to think about what our next big move will be. Is that so wrong? We were taking a walk around the neighborhood the other night and there is ONE remaining lot for sale in our hood, and it comes with a boat slip. I spend time trying to figure out a way to buy that lot NOW. Can we afford it? NOPE. But, that doesn't stop me from trying to figure out a way to make it work. Crazy? Maybe. A dreamer? That's what I prefer.
Here's to hoping the world is full of "planners" like me...so I don't seem so crazy. And yes, I realize there is a whole shit ton (yes, shit ton) more I could discuss on this topic and the fact that someone will probably say I'm not living in the "now" and I need to appreciate all the small moments, blah, blah, blah. But, I do and I am. Every single day. I cherish it all. I soak up all my time as a young mama (well, maybe not so much young...but still an "early" mama). I am living life to the fullest EVERY DAMN DAY. I just like to dream about what's next? Is that so wrong?
xoxo.
I am legit EXACTLY the same way. You are totally and completely normal (well I hope so because that would mean we are both crazy), I do the same thing daily, hell even hourly. I'm always thinking about what our next step is, what changes I can make to our house or cars or whatever. I too am very happy with everything but I never stop dreaming. Ever never!! Don't you stop either!!!
ReplyDeleteMe too! When we bought our house I thought we could live there forever, and we definitely could... but I can't help but think we will end up in Savannah or back in SC some day and when will that some day be.... and how can I get there.... etc. etc. You aren't crazy. I think it's a girl thing!
ReplyDelete